How to create softness in ordinary life

and practicing gratitude

Jun 02, 2026

I've recently been contemplating how the act of writing encourages me to romanticise the everyday.

I have always been someone who has tried to recognise the loveliness in the ordinary, alongside feeling grateful for what I have: the comforting smell of home made bread in a house that I own (with a mortgage), my physical health and being able to comfortably run and walk, waking up in the morning and immediately having access to a shower and coffee (not at the same time). For me, creating space in my life to practice gratitude often comes almost naturally, partially due to the kind of jobs I’ve had in recent years - working with vulnerable people has allowed me to see just how fortunate I am. Gratitude however, I’ve also learnt, does at times need to be practiced, but it can easily be found in the small, soft moments of the everyday.

Actively choosing to try and find softness in the ordinary has been essential for my wellbeing. Life can certainly feel overwhelming and tricky at times and finding an opportunity to be present and sit in the small, everyday moments, recognising that these too, can be magical, helps me to ground myself. Taking a minute to appreciate the soft, delicious glow, that just simply being alive has to offer isn’t always easy when we have deadlines, commitments or other life admin. But creating little moment of softness is an essential tool for curating gratitude and recognising the joy in ordinary life.

Creating little moments of softness

Light some incense or a candle - I love the smell of incense, particularly patchouli or sandalwood. Incense for me creates this sense of warmth and comfort within a space and I heavily associate the smell with yoga or meditation which adds an additional zen. Candles can also be great for adding cosiness to a space, especially seasonal ones - the pumpkin spiced candle girlies know what I mean.

Use your favourite mug - Although there are multiple mugs available, there is something so delightful about using that mug. It scratches my brain in a way that I can’t really explain, I just know that it feels good.

Stretch - An underrated opportunity to find some softness in the everyday, is to simply gently move your body. Finding the time to do a full workout isn’t always practical, however some simple stretches can be done in a few minutes, even whilst sat down.

Walk to your local supermarket / corner shop to buy a little treat - Taking a break to get some fresh air, lightly move your body and also get a nice little snack or a new lip balm at the end of it - absolutely perfect.

Make your favourite hot drink - For me this is a cup of Yorkshire Tea, a splash of oat milk and one sugar. But it could be herbal tea or a hot chocolate. The softness lies in taking this time out to have a moment for you, not what drink would be most aesthetic - although this would probably be matcha lol.

Sit with your pets. And actually be present with them - I’ll admit it. I’m guilty of not always fully engaging with my two cats at times, often choosing to mindlessly scroll instead, then finding myself frustrated for zero reason. I do love my little cat children very much however and there are few things more joyful than cuddles with them on my knee. Choosing to be more intentional with how I spend time with them going forward <3

Read something that isn’t the news daily - I absolutely stand by the opinion that it is important to stay informed with ongoing world events. However it can be incredibly draining for our emotional and mental wellbeing at times. Alongside reading the news, finding the time to read an interesting article on Substack or a few pages of a book can be a wonderful opportunity to ponder and reflect on something without exponentially increasing our anxiety levels.

Changing your bedsheets - Fresh bedding is truly the ultimate example of creating softness in ordinary life. Although the sheets haven’t necessarily become softer just by default of being in the washing machine, the fresh linen smell makes them feel extra cosy.

Creating something with your hands - I am a super keen knitter & crocheter, and I love to make both items for myself and gifts for others. It feels so wonderfully satisfying to know that I have created something with my literal hands. Of course it doesn’t have to be knitting or crocheting though, you can embroider, make beaded bracelets, sew, needle felt, scrapbook, make a pot from air dry clay. See crafty mood board inspo below:

Taking a moment to stare out of the window while the kettle boils / the toast toasts - Sometimes, we don’t need to occupy our minds with anything to create a sense of softness. Taking a few minutes to look out of the window, at your garden, at your street, at the building opposite. What can you see? Name it. Describe it in one small sentence. Having a few moments, to literally just be, is all we need to reset and move through the rest of the day.

Curate delicate and ambient lighting in the evening - Absolutely no big lights allowed. Lamps only please.

Connect with nature - Living in Manchester in the UK, I am incredibly well connected to green spaces - The Peak District in particular is only a short drive from me. Being outside is such a wonderful reminder that we are so lucky to live in a world filled with such beautiful scenery and there are literally studies that show it can help to regulate the nervous system.

One final suggestion:

Leave your phone in a different room / upstairs - This may not work for everyone, but I have found that if I can’t see my phone, I just kind of forget it exists. Within all this time that I now suddenly have available, I am able to focus on the reading, the stretching, the crafting without constantly feeling the need to check my Instagram.

About the author:

Hello, I’m Amy. I have created this space here on Substack for a couple of reasons:

To hold myself accountable to writing
To hold myself accountable to my other hobbies and interests that I want to fill up my free time with over choosing to just be on my phone againnn.

I work for a charity 3 days a week and then find other creative ways to pay the bills, working in a way which feels meaningful to me. Currently this looks like running a small Etsy shop and some occasional cat sitting.